Letter to the Editor

Your view: About Bush

Monday, March 15, 2004

The absence of those pesky weapons of mass destruction, the continued refusal of the economy to bend to his will, unemployment hovering around 6 percent and steady declining poll numbers have conspired to make the past several months a bit unpleasant for George W. Bush.

Sensing that now might be just the right time to come to the aid of our nation's chief executive, I'm pleased to offer a few supportive words on behalf of the greatest president our nation's special interest groups have ever had.

Since taking up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., George W. Bush has deftly transformed a rather substantial federal budget surplus into a vigorous and robust budget deficit. To Mr. Bush's credit, the deficit appears quite healthy and is currently growing at the rate of $1 billion a day. Bush was able to accomplish this marvel of economic wizardry with a skillful one-two punch of tax cuts for the wealthy coupled with a series of spend now, pay later binges that effectively laid waste to those devilish tax and spend Democrats. But wait, there's even more good news. With a little luck and a willing Congress, we're told the deficit could grow to over $2 trillion in just a few short years. Boy, what a great character builder that'll be for our grandchildren.

Never wanting to appear weak and gushy, Mr. Bush hasn't so much as hinted at any pain as three million American jobs have vanished from the U.S. landscape during his tenure in the White House. No lower hip biting from this manly Texan. In fact, Mr. Bush can see no reason why those millions of displaced workers don't use their share of the tax cut to start up a business. By doing so, those new entrepreneurs could then hire the millions of illegal immigrants he wants amnesty for.

Quick to recognize that what's good for Halliburton is good for America, Mr. Bush has dutifully sacrificed health care, education, veterans' benefits, Social Security reform, the environment and just compensation for overtime work at the altar of corporate greed.

Of all the president's leadership qualities, my personal favorite is the man's ability to wrap himself in the flag, strut around like a playground bully and challenge the world to "bring it on." (Just please don't expect this president to attend any military funerals.)

Recently, you may have heard that some extremists have actually had the audacity to question the President's military service record. Never one to let a challenge go unanswered, Mr. Bush countered by promptly releasing his service record. Now all of America knows that our "Pretender in Chief" won the lottery and opted out of Vietnam. Instead, our "war president" courageously chose the road less traveled, joined the Texas Air National Guard, and spent time flying combat missions over Padre Island. Whether or not he also participated in the defense of Birmingham and Montgomery remains a little fuzzy.

No defense of the Bush presidency would be complete without addressing those shameful skeptics who persist in believing that our President and members of his administration deceived the American people and led the nation into a costly, illegitimate and unnecessary war with Iraq. Come now! Do you really believe this bunch has the skills necessary to plan and carry out such a ruse? You'll never convince me of that! I'm satisfied that the poor man is simply a victim of his own intelligence malfunctions.

Now, about that trip to Mars!

Ron Greenlee,

Sikeston