Will the birds rule our foreign policy?

Sen. Barack Obama has said he wants to talk with Iran and others without preconditions once elected in order to start a rational dialogue with the soon-to-be nuclear nation. For now let's overlook Iran's stated goal of bringing the USA to her knees. Sen. Obama knows best with his extensive foreign experience. And so, if the polls are to be believed and Obama is elected, then it's off to Iran.

It's probably important at this point that we understand the logical, rational nature of the Iranian government. I mean, if we're going to hold talks without preconditions, then let's explore just briefly what we're up against.

One sign of the rational clear-thinking Iranian government may have come this week when they arrested two pigeons who they are convinced were spying on their nuclear program. Yeah, you read that right. The Iranian government - you know, the guys who are going to welcome Obama with open arms - arrested two pigeons (as in birds) who were perched on trees close to their top-secret uranium enrichment plant.

This rational government is convinced that the United States armed these pigeons with secret devices to gather information on their government's top secrets. Did I mention that the pigeons had "invisible strings" when captured by the Iranians? Not sure how they discovered these invisible strings but what the hey, that's their story and they're sticking to it.

These "spy pigeons" are being held at an undisclosed location until the Iranian government can investigate further. In the meantime, the Iranians are keeping a close eye for additional pigeons.

Well first, Obama will be forced to apologize for using spy pigeons instead of spy satellites. He will surely have some explaining to do but rest assured, he will blame it on the vast right-wing conspiracy during the Bush administration.

And when he leaves Iran, Obama might want to go to North Korea for some friendly golf. The leader of that rogue nation proudly proclaimed a couple of years ago that he had 18 straight holes in one on his only golf outing. No mention of spy pigeons has come from North Korea thus far.

So there you have it. Obama travels to Iran and explains our pigeon spying program to the always rational, always sane Iranian government. No need for preconditions with a government so savvy as to capture our spy pigeons.