House of Refuge drawdown aims to raise funds, awareness of domestic violence

Friday, October 18, 2019

By Leonna Heuring/Standard Democrat

SIKESTON — The Sikeston House of Refuge is gearing up to host its biggest annual fundraiser – the $5,000 Drawdown — in an effort to not only raise money but also awareness of an issue that affects one in four women — domestic violence.

“Domestic violence is the big, purple elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about,” said Holly Heckemeyer, vice chairperson of the Board of Directors for the House of Refuge.

Ideally, people would openly discuss domestic violence, Heckemeyer said.

“It’s an awkward conversation to have, but change is only going to happen if we talk about it, and those numbers will only get better if we do talk about it,” Heckemeyer said.

For example, Scott County continues to be one of top counties in the state for domestic violence and sexual assault, Heckemeyer said.

“It’s is higher than St. Louis and Kansas City, which is frightening,” she said.

While Scott County’s numbers have improved slightly— it used to be in the top 10th percentile and now it’s in the top 17th percentile — they still aren’t where they need to be, she said.

“If more people would be willing to come to the table and address this, then every person who has their eyes open and willing to acknowledge the issue is one more person in the field and helping the cause,” Heckemeyer said.

With “Purple October” being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the Refuge will host the $5,000 Drawdown — now in its fifth year — Oct. 26 at the Elks Lodge, 349 Dona St., in Sikeston.

Doors open at 6:30 p.m. with a dinner and drawing beginning at 7 p.m. The band, GenX, sponsored by First State Community Bank, will perform at 7:30 p.m. There will be multiple door prizes per hour and a silent auction. Individuals must be 21 and over to attend, she noted.

“The way the drawdown works is you buy a ticket and get a number, and the number goes into the drawing,” Heckemeyer explained. “As the night progresses, we pull out number by number, and finally we get down to the handful of numbers that are still in the game.”

Each ticket is placed in bottles and are held in a large drum that’s spun around in between drawings so every ticket has a fair chance of being picked, she said.

Ten to 15 tickets are pulled out at a time, and the shrinking list of remaining names is posted on a large screen for attendees as the night progresses.

“When you get down to those last few standing, it gets really exciting,” Heckemeyer said. “It’s a good time and makes for an interesting night — and it encourages people to come and stay the duration of the event.”

Tickets are $100 and include a couple’s admission, a chance to win the $5,000-prize, dinner for two and two drink tickets.

“It’s a great deal for Southeast Missouri to have something this fun to do,” Heckemeyer said, adding attendees are welcome to wear Halloween costumes.

Those who purchase drawdown tickets do not have to be present to win.

“If someone wants to support the House of Refuge but can’t physically be there, they can still purchase a ticket and the opportunity to win the big prize,” she said.

Heckemeyer, who has been involved with the Refuge for over a decade, said she’s very passionate about the importance of this organization.

“We rely on fundraisers like the drawdown to keep the doors open, and it’s disconcerting that domestic violence affects not only our community but the country and it doesn’t get the same support as other causes and organizations,” she said.

The House of Refuge’s goal is to provide shelter and empowerment services for people experiencing domestic or sexual violence in Sikeston, Scott County, New Madrid County and the surrounding areas. It can shelter 16 women at a time.

Last year the Refuge served over 7,600 meals, she said.

“Imagine having an organization where you have an extra 16 mouths to feed, including children,” Heckemeyer said, noting that the grocery bill is a hefty one.

The Refuge also maintains a 24-hour, seven-days-a-week, 365-days-a-year hotline.

“This provides a response to any and all calls, and not everyone who calls needs shelter; they may need some advice and resources,” Heckemeyer said. “We take calls from men who need help and even though we don’t shelter men.”

Tickets for the drawdown remain and can be purchased online at sikestonhouseofrefuge.org, at Treats in Miner or by calling (573) 472-4499. Tickets will not be sold at the door, Heckemeyer noted.

“The drawdown is something fun and exciting that we do to encourage people to come out and support the cause,” Heckemeyer said.