When wasting time, Missouri is No. 1

Missourians have long suffered from a hillbilly reputation especially from our friends out east. We tend to rank in the middle of most categories of education, transportation spending, crime ... you name it. Well, finally the Show-Me state has hit the top of one category. Workers in Missouri, according to a new national poll, waste more time per day at their jobs than any workers in America!

We're No. 1!

Across the country, the average worker wastes just over two hours each day on personal matters. In Missouri, the survey says, the average worker wastes an astonishing 3 hours and 12 minutes!

Let's be honest here, however. I don't accept the findings of the survey. For starters, I think the Missouri workers who responded to the poll were just having some fun with the survey. Of course come to think about it, they were taking the on-line survey at work so that's a form of wasting time.

Most workers said they wasted most of their time on personal Internet use or socializing with co-workers. Others made personal phone calls, ran errands or were just "spacing out." I'm sure the list is not complete but these excuses could potentially lead to a substantial amount of wasted time.

Of course, Missouri state officials strongly disagreed with the poll results. Officials here defended the work ethic in Missouri and pointed out that productivity among Missouri workers is as high as any in the nation.

Here's another interesting twist on the poll results. One top employment official defended the "wasted time." He said that conversations among workers and personal Internet use can actually lead to new business ideas.

So there it is. No amount of wasted time is actually wasted because you never know when a new idea will surface. If you look at it that way, Missouri workers are simply looking for new ideas to the tune of 3 hours and 12 minutes each and every day.

When the dust settles, the survey shows that employers spent $759 billion on workers and received no apparent benefit. That's a princely sum if you assume that all of those conversations and Internet time are wasted.

Editor's Note: The preceding editorial does not pertain to the employees of the Standard Democrat who are the most productive and creative workers in the state. They waste not one minute a day, they have no in-office conversations and they spend not one minute on any wasted activity. And I'm assured, not one of these employees participated in this national poll.