SIKESTON -- Shortly after her husband of just 11 months was deployed to Kuwait, Wendy Lasters' car quit working. Normally a job Lasters would leave up to her husband, Lasters was forced to find a solution on her own. The 23-year-old decided to teach herself how to drive her husband's stick-shift truck and hasn't looked back since.
Over the past few months, Lasters has had to fulfill not only her wifely duties, but she has also had to pick up where her husband left off when he was first deployed out of the National Guard Unit based in Louisville, Ky., in February.
"It's been extremely difficult," admitted Lasters of Florence, Ky. "He came home for 15 days in September and had to leave again."
Lasters' husband, Matthew Lasters, a Sikeston native, is currently serving with the National Guard in Baghdad, Iraq. "I have to take on all of his responsibilities. We don't have kids so I'm sure it would be even more difficult if I had to be a single parent," Lasters said, but not complaining.
Across the country many family members of military personnel like Lasters are finding themselves in predicaments that normally their spouse, parent or sibling might take over.
A few years ago Jackie Sproat of Portageville found herself wondering what she would do if her husband, a member of 1140th National Guard Unit out of Sikeston, was deployed during Desert Storm.
"We've been lucky," Sproat said. "My husband hasn't had an overseas deployment for any great length of time, but I started thinking years ago, what would I do if I got a call and he had to be gone in 24 hours?"
Sproat began searching for answers and since 2000, she has served on the Missouri State Family Council. She is the Southeast Missouri, or Area 7, lead volunteer and is an Army Family Team Building master trainer. Serving on the council opened her eyes to a lot of problems, she said.
For this reason alone, Sproat and other volunteers from Area 7 of the Missouri National Guard have created an all-day mobilization readiness training session for all family members of National Guard and Reserve forces on Jan. 17 at the Sikeston Armory, Sproat said.
"Even family members who have someone deployed right now still don't know what they need to know. Some can't handle a two-week tour and have separation anxiety -- how are they supposed to handle them being gone for 365 days?" Sproat questioned.
Known as Family READY (Resources and Education About Deployments and You) Groups, the idea behind the training is to prepare the families now instead of waiting until after their family members are deployed.
"The day you get the letter to deploy is too late. They need to start now. They need have the feeling of 'I'm ready. I know what I need to know and know what's going on,'" Sproat said.
Topics addressed in READY groups range from financial planning and military and veteran programs to relaying messages to commanders if a family death or serious injury occurs. A 2-3-inch binder filled with family records such as marriage, birth, will, power of attorney is also given to family members, Sproat said, adding that the binder tells exactly what they need for many situations.
It's the everyday situations family members should be aware of, too, Sproat said.
"What if your water heater blows up at 3 in the morning or the toilet breaks? Do you have a list of people who you can call to help you?" Sproat questioned.
Family READY Groups work in conjunction with seven Family Assistance Centers set up for military family members, which are located throughout the state in Dexter, Springfield, Monett, Joplin, Kansas City, Jefferson City and Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis.
While other regions in the state have hosted family readiness training sessions, January's will be the first for the Southeast region, Sproat said.
"Instead of waiting around for a big training statewide in March, we wanted to talk to people here in Southeast Missouri because the people here have different needs than those in Kansas City or St. Louis," Sproat said.
Adults aren't the only ones who are affected by deployments. Children are, too, Sproat pointed out.
"These children (of deployed parents) are experiencing a big crisis and going through life changes," Sproat said. "During training, we'll discuss how to talk to the schools and children because it's a very traumatic time for children when their parents are gone for so long. We give parents resources, but let them decide how they want to use them."
With the Pentagon expecting to call up more reserve support troops for Iraq duty next year, troops and their families need to take notice, Sproat said.
"We know our day could come that we could get deployed," Sproat said of her husband. "We have to be prepared."
The public should also continue to show their support to the troops, she added.
"The members of the public have to remember the families are still here, and soldiers are still gone. They're living this every day. And employers need to be appreciated for letting soldiers go," Sproat said.
Meanwhile Lasters said she is counting down the days until her husband comes home. He's scheduled to return Nov. 5, but as anyone in the military knows, things don't always go as planned, she said. After all, the couple waited six months to eat their wedding cake they saved to celebrate their first anniversary.
And until her husband comes home, Lasters will keep doing what she has to do, she said.
"I'm a lot stronger than I expected myself to be," Lasters said with a sigh. "I just can't wait for him to be mine again."
Military families who need more information about the upcoming training session or referrals to a unit closest to them can call Sproat at (573) 379-2170.