Heartlander Abroad: Lake of the Ozarks, MO

For a fisherman, every body of water has its unique characteristics; the same goes for a traveling outdoor enthusiast with regards to wildlife and landscapes, a foodie with seasonal local fare, a lush with eclectic dives, and so on. Some destinations require a trained, relatively optimistic eye and a plethora of gracious adjectives to paint a beautiful picture in 700 words, and then there are those that need no slight exaggerations or literary assistance, and instead challenge the author to dare to capture the panoramic awe, the overall experience, and to simply do them justice. The Lake of the Ozarks epitomizes the latter challenge.

Stretching over 90 miles, with 1,150 miles of shoreline winding through the Missouri Ozarks, this magnificent lake loses no natural beauty from the addition of the countless restaurants, resorts, and over 70,000 homes staggered among the rock bluffs. As a sportsman with an affinity for picturesque backdrops, bountiful wildlife, and copious, I mean, just staggering numbers of fish, as well as delicious local food, ice cold spirits, and an active nightlife (see: country by day, city by night), the Lake of the Ozarks offers anything and everything a person could want.

There are resorts, cabins, vacation homes, and hotels scattered from one end to the other, but for my money, Hawk’s Landing Resort is just impossible to beat. Situated on a peninsula on the Niangua arm of the lake, quaint cabins and a motel line the shore above the water and surround the resort’s private park littered with enormous trees, basketball, sand volleyball, picnic areas, fire pits and more. The cabins are equipped with wi-fi, flat screens, full kitchens, and sliding glass doors that open onto the deck overlooking the lake, and the recreation room houses a pool table, ping pong, darts, arcade, an indoor heated pool and hot tub, and much more. A boat ramp and plentiful boat slips in their private dock make for easy access, and the swimming dock and beach are well utilized in the summer, but my absolute favorite feature is the enclosed, heated fishing dock. If it’s cold or rainy or windy, or you just don’t feel like getting out, stroll down the ramp, open the door, pull up a chair and drop a line. This past Wednesday there was a lady kicked back in her chair, reading a book and enjoying a glass of wine with her fishing pole propped up waiting for a bite.

I generally limit the food and beverage portion of this article to a single establishment, but it’s just not possible given the options, so here’s a short rundown. The Branding Iron in Sunrise Beach delivered one of the best cheeseburgers of my life, “The Duke,” a big beefy cheeseburger equipped with crispy bacon and three mozzarella sticks. We revisited (we try not to go the same place twice so that we can experience as much as possible) The Branding Iron on Saturday night when the dance floor and karaoke were in full effect, and we had a blast. The Cannon Smoked Saloon offered up delicious BBQ, wings, and featured saddles for bar stools, which I appreciate (as well as an impressive breaded tenderloin sandwich, which comes as big as your biggest-headed friend’s noggin, and my girlfriend is requiring I mention). The Bees Knees Brewing Company in Versailles brewed up a bevy of bold beers and a couple delicious sandwiches. Finally, Honey B’z Bakery and Café took a classic and built a modern masterpiece in their deconstructed chicken pot pie. If given the chance, I recommend feasting at all of the above!

Now, the scenery was picturesque, the lodging was impeccable, the unique cuisines were delectable and the beer was cold, but the fishing, the fishing was just plain epic. I was at the lake for the American Crappie Trail’s National Championship (finished in twenty-sixth place) and was adamantly searching for crappie, and man did I find them, as well as every other freshwater species of fish. In three days of practice and two tournament days, my partner and I easily boated well over 300 crappie, 50 hybrid stripers, 50 catfish, 25 largemouth bass, 10 drum, 2 shad, 1 golden eye, and one enormous long nose gar. If you starve to death on the Lake of the Ozarks, well, that’s just natural selection.

To book a room with Hawk’s Landing, visit www.hawkslandingresort.com for more information.