Kentucky: It's no place like home

I decided sometime back that for my birthday this year I just wanted to get away. Some friends had a cabin at Kentucky Lake and let me use it so my girlfriend and I loaded up the car and away we went for a weekend.

I had never been to Kentucky Lake before so to say I was unprepared is an understatement. All I knew about Kentucky is that I hate their basketball team and that all their citizens are required to take a shower once a year. Don't believe me, look it up.

If you haven't been to Kentucky it is a different world. And I'm not talking about Paducah, which according to one couple we talked with is "like big city livin'." I'm talking about out in the woods Kentucky.

I noticed the differences right off the bat. As we are winding our way through the woods almost every house we passed had piles of junk in front. It seems in rural Kentucky you have to have a decorating budget for both inside and out. It looked like the 100-mile yard sale in Missouri, only nobody was selling anything.

We went into a small restaurant and the entire place stopped eating and looked up at us. I felt like I should tap dance or put on some kind of show but instead we just walked to a table as all eyes watched. I know you could hear the sounds of "Dueling Banjos."

We stopped at a little gas station and as I was pulling in I saw a "No Parking" sign. Only underneath the "No Parking" was another message: "Don't park in this here spot." I guess in case you didn't know what no parking meant.

As we were walking in the doors, a sign on the right door said "Don't use this here door." I am surprised there wasn't a "Don't Use" sign on that there door too.

And unlike most places I have been, there isn't a no-shirt, no-shoes policy. While we were in the gas station a young, hairy gentleman walked in wearing only a small pair of jean shorts. No shirt or shoes or socks for that matter. He could read though because he didn't use that there door he wasn't supposed to use. ("Dueling Banjos" music again)

My girlfriend and I were eating in another restaurant and a family walked in. The father was rather large with a strange cross-eyed look on his face, wearing a shirt with the sleeves ripped out and jeans that looked like hadn't been washed in six or maybe seven years. His wife was a fairly attractive woman, clad all in camouflage and chewing tobacco. The kids, however, were dressed like normal kids, which led us to believe they might have been kidnapped. Especially when the dad kept looking around the diner with a crazed look, causing my girlfriend to eat only half of her two pounds of ice cream. ("Dueling Banjos" music again)

But the people were friendly, very friendly. They always had big smiles, occasionally with very few teeth, and were always helpful. We saw a guy back into a light pole with his truck and the entire parking lot of people (which was a lot of people) walked over and gave his passenger a hug. Seems backing into light poles can be a very harrowing experience for passengers in that part of Kentucky.

The people were also quick to strike up a conversation. If you sit down near someone you had better be ready to talk, which honestly is fun. I like getting to know different people and see how they look at things. Like the couple we talked to that had no clue where Missouri was but told me exactly how to catch fish with beetle spin lures.

The people also didn't care if you heard their conversations with others. When their cell phones would ring, on the off chance there was cell service in the area, they would answer them and talk no matter where they were. It didn't matter if they were in the middle of a restaurant or in the bathroom, they talked away and didn't care who could hear.

But the trip was refreshing. The food was awesome and cheap and I loved the fact everything and everyone was so laid back and friendly. Plus, I didn't have to wear a shirt or shoes. I can't wait to go back for that there "Tater Day" they have that shuts down the whole county. Don't believe me, look it up. ("Dueling Banjos" music one more time)