Bring on the next election

By the time you read this, barring any hanging chads or voter fraud, we will have a new president and the election season will have mercifully come to an end.

Personally I hope I don't hear the word "change" again until four years from now and if I get one more phone call from a stupid political group I may have to disconnect my phone. Apparently in Missouri the no call list means absolutely nothing.

But while I am glad the election is over there are some things I'm going to miss. First, I'm going to miss the Speakouts I got after poking fun at the election. I never laughed so hard as when people called me an idiot and other names for actually thinking I was going to vote for Chuck Norris. And I loved the one that insinuated I was racist for not being an Obama supporter but failed to mention one word about me not being a McCain supporter either. I guess I'm anti-senior citizen as well, huh?

But the thing I'll miss the most is the odd stories that come out of elections, like the one about Jay Nixon's son that came across the Associated Press wire. Apparently the governor candidate's eldest son is big into rap and even dubs himself "Young J."

Personally, I have never found the appeal of rap although my wife can be heard thumping down the road quite often listening to the stuff. But "Young J" is definitely into the "music," writing and recording with friends, using profanity in his lyrics and referring to women as "hos."

During his senior year in high school he and some friends had a group named B.A.L.L.S. and released a CD called "Turn and Cough" with such tracks as "I Got an AK" and "JC Hustlaz."

According to the AP story, in the first verse of "JC Hustlaz," he tells the story of a day off from school in Jefferson City where the group of friends meet at a local pool hall, ride in Bentleys, "hustle" and order beers. Hopefully "Young J" was using some poetic license because being only 19 surely he wouldn't be drinking. The lyrics also describe him grabbing a gun and cocking it while hustling some pool. Must be a rough pool hall.

But really, what did this story have to do with the election? The same with Sarah Palin's teenage daughter being unwed and pregnant. We were voting for or against Jay Nixon or for or against Sarah Palin, not their children. It's been my experience that it is a child's purpose in life to screw up from time to time or at least to embarrass their parents. It is for all of those times our parents embarrass us. It's an equal balance.

Unfortunately, the election was filled with these type of stories but now, with the election over, I will find myself needing my daily fix of news to smear this candidate or that candidate.

Maybe I'll take my cue from "Young J" and take up rapping. I could call myself DJ Masta Jenkie Jenks and have a "cru" decked out in "ice." Then maybe write a song titled "Election Blues" with lyrics like Life's a garden/so dig it fool! Ya Boyyyzz! OK, so when is the next election?