I think I'm losing my app-etite

As I age I am noticing that I am losing my grip on technology among many other things. But today I'm going to stick to technology.

Ever since I started trying to find Carmen Sandiego on my first computer experience in middle school, I have been hooked on technology. Whether it was email, the Internet, TiVo, smart phones or apps for those smart phones I have been able to understand and figure them out and wanted the latest and the best.

I would get new video game systems because it had better graphics and new games each year because they were the newest. I wanted the newest phones and then the newest apps like Facebook and Twitter and was on them all the time. I would even play with the new GPS systems because I wanted to see where my house and work were on a map.

Then I found the satellite images on the Google map and I was like a kid in a candy store. I immediately typed in my address and found my house. Lo and behold it was there, right where it was supposed to be and looked just like it should. I was a king of technology.

Then I found my first gray hair. And then another. Before I knew it, I was hardly playing video games and when a new system came out I passed on buying it because (gulp) "mine worked just fine." (scream) I have been due for an upgrade on my phone for almost two years yet I continue to use the same one because (gulp) "it works just fine." (scream)

Now as my hair changes to gray one by one, I find I'm losing my understanding of technology. Just the other day I heard a couple men talking about the Snapchat. They were older than me so I thought surely I could figure it out.

So I grabbed my phone and downloaded this app that I thought was new but has actually been around a while. Then I opened it on my phone and could do nothing but stare. I had no idea what it was or what it was supposed to do.

So, using what little understanding of technology that remains in my dwindling brain, I looked Snapchat up on the Google. There I learned that with Snapchat I can take photos, record videos add text and drawings and send them to friends. It sounded pretty complicated so I deleted it.

I was told about the Vine. Again I had no clue what the Vine was other than something grapes grew on. So, I looked it up on the Google and found it is an app that lets you share short videos. I'm not exactly sure how to make videos, so I deleted it.

The thing that really has me confused is the iCloud. I have lots of music and photos on my phone that I wanted to backed up and was told to use the "Cloud." So I put them on the Cloud and thought I deleted some of the songs from my phone.

Only when I play my songs on my phone, they continue to play songs from my Cloud. But I don't know where this Cloud is or how it is sending my music to my phone. Whenever I download music to my phone it shows up on my Cloud, but I don't tell it to go to my Cloud. What exactly is this Cloud?

So, once again I looked it up on the Google. According to the Google, over 320 million people use the Cloud. That's a lot of people to be storing stuff on one cloud. How big is this Cloud? Can it hold all my stuff and everyone else's? If it gets too full will all the information come raining down?

I sure as hail didn't want my stuff getting confused with other people's stuff so I was going to take it off the Cloud. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to get it off the Cloud. And the more I tried to mess with it, the more stuff I ended up putting on the Cloud like my calendar and apps. It's so frustrating it gives me more gray hairs.

I'm a few more gray hairs away from sitting in front of my house and shaking a cane at the kids while screaming "get off my lawn!" At least I'm still up on technology enough to watch myself do it on the Google satellite map.