Just say no to texting - UG2BK

I hate getting old but each day I get closer to sitting on my porch, shaking my cane screaming "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

I realized I was one step closer the other day when I was driving and looked over and saw a young teen, head buried in her cell phone, passing me on the highway like I was standing still. That was followed by my reaction which sounded something like: "Look at the road and slow down you young whippersnapper!"

I'm sure she could hear me with my windows rolled up and Journey blaring on my radio but I shook my fist for effect. I'm sure she saw that in her rearview mirror while texting her friend about the old guy she just blew by.

While I do text quite a bit every single day, I am still not a huge fan of texting. For one, it is dangerous. I see plenty of drivers with their eyes on their phones instead of the road far too often. I made a pledge not to text while I'm driving but it never fails that every time I plant my butt in the driver's seat I get a text message.

To me texting seems a bit counterproductive. Nobody ever talks to each other anymore. I recently saw a picture with five people standing around and all of them were looking at their phones. I bet they were having a deep conversation with each other.

I laugh all the time at my girlfriend when she is texting her daughter. Something they could have taken care of in a one-minute phone conversation takes 20 minutes of texting back and forth.

Me: "Is she coming to the movie?"

Girlfriend: "I texted her. She is responding now."

(one minute goes by)

Girlfriend: "What time are we going?"

Me: "7"

(another minute goes by)

Girlfriend: "Do we want her to meet us or are we going to pick her up?"

Me: "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

The biggest reason I'm not a fan of texting is I don't understand a lot of what is being sent to me. Everything is abbreviated now. But it negates the purpose of texting if I have to look on the Google to see what they are even trying to say.

I know the basics: LOL (laugh out loud), NP (no problem), OMG (oh my god), SMH (shaking my head) and WTH (what the heck). But that is about my limit. But now they have abbreviations for everything.

I saw this text one day: BRB ISO and SITD.

Suddenly all the English classes I had were pointless. I spent five minutes trying to decipher it before I finally gave up and responded with another symbol I'm becoming very familiar with: "?." I should have added "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

I found out the text meant "Be right back. In search of answer. Still in the dark." I'm still in the dark for sure but kids aren't. I think kids today can have an entire conversation in abbreviations.

Hooligan 1: TGIF. T2GO TCOB. r u goin? YOLO. TTUL.

(Translation: Thank god it's Friday. Time to go take care of business. Are you going? You only live once. Talk to you later)

Hooligan 2: UG2BK! BTWBO. U8? (You've got to be kidding. Be there with bells on. You ate?)

Somewhere Shakespeare shivers.

I think I will stick with talking whenever possible. Like sitting on my front porch screaming "GET OFF MY LAWN!" Although I guess now I need to get the kids' cell numbers so I can text "GOML!"

Oh well, maybe I can throw my cell phone at them instead of shaking my cane. SMH