Another hairy office situation

It isn't every day your male co-worker allows another co-worker to do his hair in the office, but then the Standard Democrat isn't your normal office. But this is what happened last week.

I know what you are thinking, what man is going to have his "hair did" at the office? Well, we all handle our mid-life crisis or what one called "manopause" differently. Some buy sports cars, others try to date girls half their age and in the case of my co-worker, he grows his hair to what I call the cliche rocker-cut.

He has been described by others to look like Jesus (because if you can't act like him at least try to look like him) or the wrestler HHH, without the muscles and the attitude.

Somehow one day, HHH Jesus and another co-worker began discussing his hair and how he needed some product to make it look better. I had no idea that my co-worker had an enthusiasm for fixing hair and apparently watching QVC. She sounded like a commercial as she talked about one product after another that would help his hair.

So a few days later Mrs. QVC brought in a bag full of products and into the break room she went with HHH Jesus to do a hair make over in front of a live, newspaper audience.

The one place you probably don't want to have your hair done is around your co-workers. They will make fun and badger you the entire time, although I did allow my co-workers to get a few shots in themselves.

HHH Jesus was quite a sport as he sat in the chair as Mrs. QVC rubbed in some stuff called WEN by Chaz Dean. This apparently gives your hair shine, body and bounce, all of which HHH Jesus was told he needed.

I don't know much about hair other than the fact I'm losing what isn't turning grey, but I was learning plenty as Mrs. QVC worked on her project's hair. Like, "Products are more important than using a flat iron."

I'm not quite sure what a flat iron is for hair but I know I can make a darn good steak in an iron skillet.

I also learned that sulfates are bad and you should buy sulfate-free product to put in your hair. Again, I'm not sure what sulfates are but I know what a sulfite is. They are found in wine, and there are worse things than wine.

There is also something called dry shampoo. I never knew such a thing existed, but it does and it is better to buy "invisible shampoo" than "rinse free." If it is invisible shampoo, is it free?

Mrs. QVC worked in one product after another in his hair, announcing "It's not about fixing hair, it's about fun." Then it was time to dry his hair.

Who knew that when you dry your hair it is better to dry it upside down? That apparently gives it more body. I wish I had enough hair to use a hair dryer because mine sure needs some body.

As the team-building exercise continued I realized why I cut my own hair and don't have it cut in public as the catcalls continued.

"You should highlight it."

"No, she should French-braid it."

"What about corn rows? He would look good in corn rows."

When Mrs. QVC was finished she looked pleased.

"Come and look at the back, girls," she smiled.

But is it wrong when all the girls seemed jealous of how HHH Jesus' hair looked from behind?

"I wish my hair looked like that," said one female co-worker.

"It doesn't look nearly as stringy and dirty as it did," said another.

I just hope the office can return to newspaper office instead of becoming a salon. The next thing he will probably do is ask Mrs. QVC for product to hide his wrinkles or how to make his lips fuller. I just hope I opt for the sports car when I hit my mid-life crisis.