Kids of today are missing out

The other day I was around a group of kids when I heard a teacher say, "Does everyone know criss, cross, applesauce?" I turned to watch because I had no idea what that was. Come to find out it was just to have them sit with their legs crossed.

I'm a child of the '80s. To me that means sitting "Indian style." But I suppose in the politically correct world we live in today that is unacceptable. I'm guessing they don't even let kids dress as pilgrims and Indians at Thanksgiving. That's too bad because I looked adorable in my Indian costume made from a brown paper bag with a construction paper head dress.

I started thinking though and things are a lot different for kids today than they were in the '80s. I remember carrying a metal lunch box with my favorite cartoon characters. It could be used as a weapon and was on many occasions. There were a lot fewer kids trying to mess with you if you could knock them upside the head with a metal lunchbox. And that weird plastic taste your drink had when you drank from your plastic thermos was a delicacy.

When we were older we could leave campus at lunch and walk to the corner store or even drive to a local restaurant if we had our license. Today, when you try to leave school property during school hours alarms sound and men with guns will have you in their sights before you can scale the barbed wire fence. At least that's what I hear.

I remember carrying a Swiss Army knife to school in my pocket everyday for years. It was handy little accessory with long and short knife blades that couldn't cut paper, a bottle opener, scissors and a saw in case I ever needed to cut down a tree. I remember using the screw driver on the knife to switch friends' locker numbers. Now if you get caught with a Swiss Army knife in a school you serve five to 10 years in a maximum security prison. At least that's what I hear.

We used to play things like wall ball at recess. I can't remember the exact rules but I do remember getting beaned with tennis balls while running to the wall. Sure it left a few welts and bruises but I left my fair share of bruises on friends and foes as well. Today you can't play character building games like wall ball, dodgeball or fist ball because somebody might get hurt. If you can't get hurt, what's the fun?

Of course in the '80s we used to actually choose teams. You never wanted to be the last kid picked or even worse, left out all together. You would have to sit and watch everyone else play with the horror and shame of knowing you weren't good enough. Until the next day when you got to play. Today there is no horror and shame and nobody is picked. Teams are chosen by teachers so everyone is included and that the teams are even, or so I'm told. Who wants to play with even teams? That's craziness.

Classrooms are different today, too. I was in one not too long ago and there wasn't even a chalkboard. I was a big fan of the chalk dust. Who didn't clap those erasers together to get them clean, only to cough up white dust for the next hour? Today's kids have smart boards and white boards. And the markers don't even have a potent smell. Back in the '80s, we would sniff markers and be lightheaded for hours. It was Angel Dust for 7 year olds. How do the young kids get high today?

I guess they don't have to with all the iPads and computer games that look like a television show keeping them occupied. We had computer games like Oregon Trail that taught you that bankers always got dysentery and died on the trail. I bet kids today don't know that diarrhea can kill.

I feel sorry for kids today and the things they are missing out on. Sure, iPads are educational but they don't have the awesome Trapper Keepers covered in Scratch 'n Sniff stickers. They only wish they could be that cool.