Bored? Try a board meeting

This summer I have tried several times to find a funny comedy at the movies, only to be disappointed each time. I should have just saved my money and gone to a Miner Board of Aldermen meeting for free.

After reading month-after-month how the Miner Board struggles to get anything done I thought I would go and take a look for myself at a recent meeting. Needless to say I wasn't disappointed.

I have been to city council meetings, school board meetings, county commission meetings, college student senate meetings and even high school and junior high student council meetings but I have never seen anything like what I saw in Miner.

There is no control and at times the Board members don't seem to understand what it is they are voting on. There is plenty of bickering back and forth that those in the audience can't understand because you can't hear much of what is being said. They can't even agree on appointments which is why they have had a temporarily appointed city attorney for over a year.

At the meeting I attended, there was an appointment for the EMA to be made. Only nobody gave a second to the appointment which in Miner is as common as a flea on a dog. Instead one of the Board members asked what the job description was for the EMA appointment. I guess they don't do any homework in Miner since the appointment has been on the agenda for months on end.

Of course, it got better. A rezoning issue was brought before the Board and they seemed as confused as a kindergartner learning calculus. The property in question was currently zoned residential but apparently was classified as commercial by the assessor so the property owner was asking the Board to rezone it commercial. Confusing yes but everyone had plenty to say about it.

The property owner made his case and then before long a truck route was called into question and a property owner voiced his displeasure about the controversial children's clothing store moving close to his property. I suppose he was worried about all those big rigs that might be delivering the clothes.

Of course, there were concerns from one Board member about children getting hit by cars as can happen when children go shopping for their own clothes.

Then a man from the back shouted out: "I like the community just the way it is. I don't want it commercialized." And he has a point, because who really wants to see new business and progress?

The Board couldn't even come to a conclusion on what the limit was on truck routes and before I knew it people were talking about what was posted on Facebook and what churches are located where. Finally, over 30 minutes later when the conversation got back to the issue at hand, the Board couldn't get a second on the plan to rezone the property. As one Board member put it, "I stand with the people that live here." I guess the Planning and Zoning Board members, who are tasked to study, understand and recommended the rezoning, aren't residents of Miner. But then again I'm not one who understands small town politics.

Even when the Board agrees they seem to disagree. They bantered back-and-forth for over five minutes about annexing some property along U.S. Highway 62 before they realized everyone was in favor and passed the proposal. I'm guessing the Board doesn't have work sessions where they can figure out what it is they are actually voting on.

They agreed again on placing the renewal of a half-cent capital improvement sales tax on the November ballot, only it didn't go off without a problem either. The tax, which is already on the books, is to be perpetual. The problem is that a resident pointed out that the proposal didn't say the tax was perpetual which then had to be added on the spot. Of course, that was after it was already approved. At this point I was wishing I was at a movie theater so at least I could get some popcorn or a drink. Just to put something on the ballot, that they all agree on, took nearly 20 minutes.

Another thing the Board seems to agree on is tabling things for another meeting. And there are more tables at a Miner meeting than at a furniture store. As one Board member said, "I haven't had time to read over this," when talking about a budget amendment ordinance that was eventually tabled. I know how that feels though. Back in junior high I often didn't do my homework either.

The meeting ended with a measure to hook up some Miner homes with the city's water lines. Apparently, one of the homes to be hooked up was a Board member who wanted none of it and a little snippiness ensued. Of course, the issue was tabled so they can have the argument again at the next meeting.

So if you are looking for a little cheap entertainment, gather up some popcorn and a drink and head to a Miner Board of Aldermen meeting. You may not see how to govern, for that check out your local junior high student council, but you will be entertained with the best three-ring circus that doesn't feature an elephant.