Suicide is one of worst tragedies

Recently, I had a person in our community ask me one of the most difficult heartfelt questions that has touched the lives of the friends, communities and families of over 48,000 people in 2018. She asked the question, “My grandson has a best friend that committed suicide. What can I say to him?”

Suicide is one of the worst tragedies’ I know as it touches everyone and is so difficult especially for those closest to the person who takes their life. As I was answering the question, I was burdened to share with the community of Sikeston. As a disclaimer, I am not a medical professional or a licensed counselor, but just a local Baptist pastor who cares deeply about this issue. I hope this is helpful to those reading the article today.

• If someone can annunciate a specific plan how they would end their life, it is very serious. Do not leave them alone and call 911 or get them to an emergency room.

• Don’t try to give them advice, but actively listen. Actively listening means I engage with questions or feeling statements that invite them to share their feelings. For example: “how are you doing? I imagine you are having a tough time.”

• Parents: Talk to your children. If you suspect something, be proactive!!!!

• Affirm that you are there for them by not giving judgmental statements about their feelings. What I mean by that, if they say something that you disagree with don’t correct them, but listen.

• Don’t go down the why trail. THERE ARE NOT ANSWERS FOR THE WHYS. Further, encourage them to not feel shame thinking they could or should have done something different. I tell people, you can’t think about what you would have done and blame yourself.

• Keep the dialogue open with them by reminding them you are there to talk.

• Make sure and utilize people and professionals who are trained to help those that have lost loved ones through suicide.

• Pray for them.

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

• If anyone needs pastoral counseling, many of our pastors are available.

At the end of our conversation the individual shared a question they had been asked. It dealt with that some people teach that suicide is the ultimate sin and there is not forgiveness. Those individuals are 100% incorrect as the Bible says Jesus died for all sin and that includes suicide. If you have trusted Jesus as your savior you will be with him forever. A saved person who chooses to end their life is not taking the correct path God has for them, but will still be with him forever. Romans 8:38 says that death will not separate someone from the love of God.

If you have a question you would like answered for future columns email mathewvroman@gmail.com