Funerals are blessing and challenging for pastors

When you are a pastor one of the more challenging and blessing times is when you administer a funeral.

The blessing part is when the family are comforted and encouraged in their time of loss. The challenging part is when you see family not getting along.

I remember a funeral I did in Detroit about 10 years ago. I had met the lady going door to door and she passed, and the family asked me to do the funeral.

During the funeral I saw the saddest example of people. The adult children of this lady could not even get along at their mother’s funeral. To this day it still chills my bones and serves as a perfect example to us to remember to make your relationships right on this earth. 

Here are five action steps to take:

1.   James 4:1- “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”  What that verse says is that root of fighting is our lusts from the evil desires we hold. What that means is problem relationship’s healing begins when you accept that all fighting you are in has a link to selfishness.

2.   Decide that the relationship is more important that your rights.  Decide that you will choose humility.  James 4:10- “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

3.   Pray for the situation and confess any known sin.  1 John 1:9- “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

4.   Decide and pursue being a peace maker.  Matthew 5:9- “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”

5.   Continue doing the right thing.  Galatians 6:9- “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

One additional practical step is just because you are working to have a unified relationship does not mean you still do not build boundaries for toxic people.  Further, if your relationship is not safe, have courage to get to safety.  Ultimately, all relationships come back to make sure your relationship with God is correct and you are saved.  

Sundays at 6 p.m., First Baptist is studying the book of Revelation- Everyone is welcome and will receive a free study book for home study and fallow along.

If you have a question you would like answered for future columns email mathewvroman@gmail.com